The Adventures of Matthew Townend

I'm writing this blog because I haven't written in a while and I feel like people need an update on my life. I realized my blog entry dates are becoming further and further apart, to the point where you may never hear from me again. But I don't want to be silent - not because I feel like I have to chat about myself online to truly feel alive, but because my lack of writing blogs (and writing in general) is indicative to what I'm experiencing. I feel like I'm losing my voice.  Like it's being ripped away through my mouth as soon as it rises into my vocal chords. That sounds a little dramatic, I'm aware. I continue to ride the train back and forth from work every day, doing the same mundane shit day in and day out. I hardly see anyone outside of work, except on the weekends. And that's weird, especially because I live in a country where I hardly know anyone anyway. And losing my voice in the midst of this dry, mundane season is scary, especially...

It's been three weeks and I haven't written a blog. I haven't been inspired. Life since my uncle Phil's untimely passing has been fairly mundane. I had the honor of speaking briefly at Phil's funeral, which was amazing. Meanwhile, I've been working evenings for a bank in Leeds, which is about an hour-and-a-half commute from where I live. My job is basically data entry, with a bit of problem solving thrown in. It's easy enough, it pays well for a single guy, but it has really taken a lot out of me, especially with the commute and not getting home until after midnight every day. I haven't been sleeping well, and I'm trying to figure out good sleeping and eating habits, while maintaining an active social life. It's been challenging and unknown to me. But the truth is that what I've been going through is nothing compared to what my family here is experiencing. I've only been here for the tail end of Phil's struggle with cancer,...

Luke 12:33 “ Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys.” Did you know that breathing is technically an involuntary action? But in some trickery of the mind, some evil scheme from the Master Creator, if you think about your breathing, you can contr ol it. Slowly breathe in right now. Hold it in for five seconds, and then slowly breathe out. You are now in control of your breathing because you're thinking about it and you're choosing to breathe. It's freeing knowing that you can override this desire, but it's stressful when you can't stop thinking about it. That's where I was yesterday in the hospital with my family. It's all I could think about as I saw my uncle Phil in the last bed he'd ever lay in. Hooked up to a respirator, unconscious, his breathing came at its own pace. He'd...

My cousin Jonny and I are standing inside the hospice where my uncle Phil is being treated, waiting for our cousin Emma to come back inside. She walks through the door on her crutches, and has this grin on her face that won't go away. “Come outside!” she says. I have no idea what she's so excited about, but we're a little skeptical. After some coercion, we follow her out into the cold night air. “Do you smell that?” she says, looking straight at me. I'm not wanting to diminish her excitement, but I haven't the faintest idea of what she's talking about. “No, what am I supposed to smell?” I ask. “It smells like CHRISTMAS!” The temperature had dropped, and I guess it had dropped just low enough that the air had that “winter” feel to it. I'm not really used to that subtle change in temperature, and I suppose I'd lost my sense of excitement about the holidays that I once had as a kid, but in that moment, seeing the childlike glee on ...

It's been awhile since I wrote my last blog. I've changed. I'm a new man. Well....not really. I've just been busy. I've become comfortable. Now I know that sounds really negative, like I've given in to lethargy and let myself become complacent in my time here. And it is, somewhat. The romance of being here has sort of faded, my connection to the States has dwindled, and I'm kind of just soaring on the breeze. But at the same time, I'm becoming more confident in myself and realizing that being in England is really not all that different than the States. The people here are basically the same, minus a few cultural facets. One of those is seeing how people seem to care about one another. In the States, the attitude seemed to be “take care of yourself first” and the rest will work itself out. This mentality is great for having healthy boundaries with others and not letting them take advantage of you, but it's really bad if you'...

"I mean, they got the same shit over there that we got over here," said John Travolta's iconic Pulp Fiction character Vincent Vega, "But it's the little differences." There's some things over here in the UK that I love, and some that I'm not too fond of. It's taken me a little bit of time in my unemployment and limbo stage to decide what those are.  Here's my list: Love: -The Indian food here is amazing.  Indian is basically considered the national food now, more than fish and chips.  Stunning.  I have learned, though, that the Indian here is highly Anglo-ized.  They even invented dishes like Chicken Tikka Masala - a dish that does not exist in India.  Good ol' cultural appropriation. -The way they do bedsheets is just better.  They cover the comforter with a cover, rather than use an extra sheet, so that you only have to wash the comforter cover and only have to deal with one sheet on the bed.  The American way of having to wash yo...